FDA Wants to Ban Coffee

Fake Flash News Report!

The FDA has announced plans to ban coffee. Needless to say, this has sent shockwaves throughout the nation.

They claim coffee should be classified as a drug. Their reasoning?

"Take a look at this coffee mug. As you can plainly see, when Betty Boop first wakes up, she looks terrible. She is depressed and mopey and obviously is not in a good mood. She doesn't look anything like the Betty Boop we all know and love."

Hey, I'm just reporting the news. The FDA doesn't always make a lot of sense. He goes on.

"Now turn the mug and you see Betty Boop, the sex star. Look at the difference. It clearly says this is what she looks like after she's had her coffee. People, that is a dramatic difference, and it happens so fast, immediately after she finishes her coffee. This is picture proof that coffee needs to be classified as a drug."

This story just reached the public, but already there are investigations going on to find out exactly why they want to ban coffee. The Betty Boop mug theory doesn't hold water.

We'll bring you any updates when we know more. Obviously, this is one of the most devastating fake news stories we've ever covered.

In the meantime, grab your own Betty Boop mug and see firsthand what the controversy is about.

Study Says Coffee Drinkers Rule

 Fake News Flash: A recent study has found that coffee drinkers are more likely to be successful in their careers and take over the world.

The study, which surveyed 10,000 people, found that those who drank at least three cups of coffee a day were more likely to have high-powered jobs and be in positions of authority. So, if you want to rule the world, start drinking more coffee!

Which appears to be the case. News of this study sparked an increase in sales of coffee makers. Coffee supplies are low at the moment as coffee suppliers rush to keep up with the demand.

Move over, world leaders. The real power lies in the hands of coffee drinkers. Don't underestimate the caffeine-fueled brain of a coffee addict.

"I always knew there was something special about my morning coffee. Now I can proudly tell everyone that I'm not just drinking coffee, I'm preparing for my world domination."

Fritzi Ritz

The Fritzi Ritz comic started way back in 1922. When she first appeared, she was a woman who was mainly interested in clothes, cosmetics, and men. 

There were a lot of changes to her character as the years went by, but many remember her first as the aunt and parental figure to Nancy, an 8-year-old, who was brought into the Fritzi Ritz cartoon as a house guest. She was supposed to arrive and disappear. 

Nancy took over the comic and eventually became the main character in her own comic book. I used to read the Nancy and Sluggo comics and they were pretty entertaining back then. 

As a result, Fritzi changed into a woman with responsibilities and became a secondary character. However, she started appearing as her own carefree self in her Sunday comic strips.

The Lion and the Mouse

 Do you remember the fairy tale story of the lion and the mouse? I thought you might get a kick out of seeing it as a comic.

Creepy Graveyard Spirits

Ghostly Cemetary Encounter

In the heart of the old town, shrouded in an eerie mist, lay the ancient cemetery that locals dared not visit after sunset. Stories of restless spirits and haunting apparitions had long made this graveyard a place of dread. One chilling night, a group of curious teenagers decided to challenge fate and venture into the graveyard to prove their courage.

As they crept through the iron gate, the creaking sound echoed through the night, causing a shiver to run down their spines. Armed with only flashlights and nervous laughter, they navigated the labyrinth of tombstones and overgrown graves. The dim light revealed moss-covered angels, weathered crosses, and crumbling mausoleums standing sentinel over the forgotten souls.

Their bravado waned as the darkness deepened around them, and the wind carried haunting whispers that seemed to speak directly into their ears. Unease settled in, and their hearts raced with each rustle of leaves and mysterious sound. Yet, they pressed on, trying to shake off the unsettling atmosphere.

In the distance, they spotted an imposing crypt that stood apart from the rest, as if warning intruders to stay away. Despite the warnings in their minds, an inexplicable force drew them closer to it. As they approached, a dense fog enveloped the crypt, obscuring it from view.

Suddenly, a blood-curdling shriek pierced the night, freezing them in their tracks. Panic gripped their hearts as the sound seemed to come from all directions, surrounding them with terror. One of the teenagers, unable to bear the horror, turned to flee but found himself trapped within a circle of gravestones that appeared out of thin air.

Their flashlights flickered, casting erratic shadows that danced like malevolent spirits. A cold gust swept through the cemetery, extinguishing their lights one by one. In the pitch-black darkness, they heard whispers and footsteps, as if an invisible presence was closing in on them.

"Who's there?" one of them managed to stammer.

A low, chilling voice replied, "You shouldn't have come here."

Their breaths trembled as they could now sense the presence of a malevolent force that had awakened from its slumber. The apparitions of long-deceased souls manifested before their eyes, their hollow eyes gleaming with an otherworldly light.

In a desperate bid to escape, they mustered all their strength and dashed towards the cemetery gate. But the force seemed to pull them back, as if the spirits were playing a sinister game. Fear-stricken and on the verge of surrender, they began reciting ancient prayers, hoping for salvation.

With an eerie laugh, the ghostly voices began to recede, and the mist lifted, revealing the sanctuary of the cemetery once more. The teenagers stumbled out, gasping for breath, as the first light of dawn began to paint the sky.

From that night on, they never spoke of their horrifying encounter. The once bold and adventurous teenagers were forever changed, haunted by the knowledge that they had come face to face with the spirits of the forgotten dead. And so, the dark and scary cemetery continued to stand, guarding its secrets and warning all who dared to venture near its haunted grounds.

Witch Mug for Halloween

Embrace the whimsigoth style and embrace your inner enchantress with the Witch Mug. Let it transport you to a world of magic, where witches roam freely, and spells are cast under the moonlight. This mug is perfect for Halloween gatherings, cozy nights by the fire, or whenever you want to infuse a touch of mystical elegance into your daily routine.

Witch Mug