Study Says Coffee Drinkers Rule

 Fake News Flash: A recent study has found that coffee drinkers are more likely to be successful in their careers and take over the world.

The study, which surveyed 10,000 people, found that those who drank at least three cups of coffee a day were more likely to have high-powered jobs and be in positions of authority. So, if you want to rule the world, start drinking more coffee!

Which appears to be the case. News of this study sparked an increase in sales of coffee makers. Coffee supplies are low at the moment as coffee suppliers rush to keep up with the demand.

Move over, world leaders. The real power lies in the hands of coffee drinkers. Don't underestimate the caffeine-fueled brain of a coffee addict.

"I always knew there was something special about my morning coffee. Now I can proudly tell everyone that I'm not just drinking coffee, I'm preparing for my world domination."